I want to talk about something very serious and something that definitely hits home for me. Friendships. Now I need to get this off my chest and I should have done so sooner. If you’re not into reading or anything heart to heart then this post won’t be for you.
I don’t know where to start… The good, the bad, the emotions, the signs, the experiences?
This is something I have been wanting to get out for like 6 or so months now, but haven’t had the courage. I don’t know why but I guess I was scared of offending anyone or ruining the little friendships I do have. I have now come to the conclusion that my happiness and wellbeing overalls anything and everything at the end of the day.
- Friends can make your life better by making you happier, helping you to reach goals, advancing your career, supporting you through thick & thin, becoming less lonely (in some friendships this is not the case) etc
- It has been proven that friendships can extend life expectancy
- Friends help you extend social skills
- Boost your sense of self-worth (again this is case by case basis)
- You can be let down
- If they get a significant other they may not invest time into you anymore
- They can make you feel miserable and lonely
- Personality clashes
- Disagreements/petty drama
How I feel right now and have felt before
Currently my emotions towards friendships are happy, sad, lonely, angry/annoyed, ‘don’t want to talk to them’, I miss some (I don’t know if this is an emotion but it’s how I feel), frustrated, content, worthless, anxious and so on.
Signs as to why it is time to let go
- One-sided Friendships – If you feel as though you are doing all the work in the friendship I think it is best to leave and find someone else who will cherish you and generally want to be friends with you. If you are always the one who makes the plans, or changes them when it is not convenient for your friend, you are the one who always travels the distance to see them and last but not least do all the emotional work such as being there for them when they’re upset or talking them up then this is a DEFINITE sign that your friendship is one-sided.
- Constantly Being Let Down – From personal experience this makes me feel worthless and like a loner basically. I have been let down so many times now that I can’t even count them! (I’ll talk more about this in the part about my experiences). But if you make plans and last minute they pull out or they never show (for me personally) this is a sign that they may not want to hang out with you and that your friendship isn’t valued by your friend.
- If Things Just Aren’t The Same Anymore – People grow apart it is a way of life and is normal! You’ll want different things, may no longer share the same interest, may not connect anymore and may have different opinions. Don’t waste your time on things that should be let go.
- The Trust And Loyalty No Longer Exists – If you can’t trust your friends why are you friends with them in the first place? You should be able to share your deepest darkest secrets with them and not worry about anyone finding out about them. If you can’t trust your friends it is only going to frustrate, anger and make you paranoid. You don’t want to be backstabbed!!
- When You Feel Like You Can’t Be Yourself – Putting on an act is only going to make you feel worse. It would be tiring to pretend to be someone you’re not just to fit in when in reality there are people out there who will accept you for you. The time you spend ‘fitting in’ could actually be spent on finding your true friends
So the first one I want to talk about is my birthday. For both my 16th and 17th I went out for dinner (16th) and lunch (17th). Now basically what happened was on my 16th birthday I invited all of my friends out to dinner. NONE and I mean none of them came! They all pulled out last minute. I had never felt so upset in my life. It was supposed to be a special day for me! So I messaged another close friend of mine who lived half an hour away and was busy, yet she still managed to make it even though she was a little bit late (I am forever grateful). The same thing happened on my 17th but this time only a couple of people pulled out.
I have made plans so many times with a couple of friends and each and every time (I am not joking) one of them would always pull out last minute. Then we would try to reschedule and nothing would come of it. I do understand that we all have our own lives and we all get busy. It shouldn’t be that extremely hard to find time for your friends.
I have a little bit of social anxiety and I would say I am an introvert so I find it extremely hard to make friends. This also makes me push new people away which I don’t exactly want to do but it’s just hard (It’s hard to explain). Also leaving school early I have noticed that I have drifted from people that I once used to hang out with all the time. But that’s life.
As some of you may know I have recently started tech (I study Vet Nursing) and I am super happy and content with the course and friends I have made there already! They feel like forever friends.
*This blog post isn’t intended to hurt or ‘call anyone out’, this is just me sharing my experiences and feelings in the hopes of helping someone who is in the same situations that I have been in. Also to my real friends, I love you all, you know who you are x